Here’s the problem with Jersey Shore, Ron-Ron, and the rest of the male guidos: do they want their women to act like women, or do they want them to “get some balls,” as Ronnie articulately demands, and act like men? And what does it mean to be a woman or a man in the guidoverse? The Guido Boys make jokes about how the women in the house should be cooking and cleaning, but then they fuss with their hair and cook elaborate Sunday dinners. Women are unsurprisingly seen as bitches, whores, and the rarest unicorn: the sort of girl you’d bring home to Mama and eventually make your wife. She can even be a bitch, like Sammi Sweetheart, but she should never ever be a whore. That violates basic tenets of guido culture.
So let’s review: both women and men engage in some basic GTL (Gym-Tanning-Laundry for you Jersey Shore neophytes), both can be employed at a boardwalk t-shirt shop, and both can skive off work at 11AM for some tequila shots at the bar next-door. A guido never hits a lady guido (also known as a “guidette”), but lady guidos can brawl with each other and occasionally deliver crushing right hooks to their guido men. Profanity-laden diatribes are common and socially-acceptable, but it is possible to cross a certain line. Tossing all your ex-girlfriend’s personal belongings onto the deck and smashing her glasses in a fit of ‘roid rage because she had the audacity to sexy-dance with a juicehead at the club just isn’t cool, bro.
It doesn’t matter if she left a used tampon in the bathroom (ahem, Angelina) or puked into your favorite bedazzled Ed Hardy t-shirt–you just don’t trash someone’s personal property. The oft-called family’s reactions to Ronnie’s behavior are integral to understanding this unwritten guido moral code. When Sammi confronts Ronnie about his reckless destruction of her side of the shared room, she doesn’t get angry immediately. First she tries to understand what kind of guido, and what kind of man, commits such a heinous act:
Certain actions have correlating punishments for these housemates, but the crime of sexy-dancing is too minor an offense to warrant Ron’s insane actions. Ron’s behavior offers a nice counterpart to J WOWW’s (aka Jenni) recent relationship drama. After a phone call break-up, Jenni’s ex-boyfriend Tom leaves her two dogs trapped in their house with no food and water. When Jenni arrives to rescue her poochies, she enters her bedroom and sees that Tom has done much the same thing as Ronnie. Some of her stuff is trashed, but Tom has also stolen valuables, like her watch and her external hard drive.
On this episode of Jersey Shore, we see Tom’s perspective on the failed relationship with Jenni through the massive, hulking lens of Ronnie. We see the events that prompt Ronnie’s actions and have to wonder what kind of person is capable of ransacking another human being’s life. Even Mike called out Ronnie for his behavior, saying that Ron was disregarding a basic “human code” of conduct that transcends both “boy code” and “girl code.”
What I’m most curious about is how the group will treat Ronnie now that Sammi has left the house. Will they ostracize him for his clearly despicable behavior, or will they act as if nothing’s happened? Mike is quite the apologetic Ron-Ron appeaser, but since he did acknowledge the severity of Ronnie’s behavior, will he be the one to confront him? Guess we’ll find out next week. Stay tuned!